‘But I Am Broken, 12 Hours Isn’t Enough, To Fit In All The Existing Crimes I’ve Yet To Investigate’ | Anon

I wondered whether you could post this anonymously…

After a hard shift trying to hold up the thin blue line, I was compelled to get my feelings down, and I think it speaks volumes…

I take off my boots
They’re scuffed and dull
There used to be a time where they’d shine, and I’d wear them with pride. But now I kick them off with tears in my eyes and pain in my chest. Another day where you’ve tried to do your best.

Your numbers are small, but the incidents are many
We barely have time to “spend a penny.”
12 hours no food, too many half cups of tea
The things that the public cannot see
They think we are strong, unbreakable
These superhumans who see and do the unthinkable

But I am broken, 12 hours isn’t enough, to fit in all the existing crimes I’ve yet to investigate. Because Emergencies don’t wait for your current crimes, you attend another domestic, a stabbing, a death there is no time.

Yet here young officer take all of this pressure it’s for you to hold and it’s getting heavier. Do not show weakness, do not show fear, do not show the outside what’s going in here.

Keep smiling, keep fighting, keep pushing what’s right, take the punches, the threats, the verbals, the strife.

Keep doing your best, but it’s never enough. But don’t show it, don’t say it just keep holding it up.

Go home to your family who are already mad you are late, take some more pressure, some more pain, some more weight.

The weight becomes heavy its too much to hold, when will they listen, when will they be told. We are humans and hated and loved in equal measure. I’m doing a job where I no longer take pleasure.

I want to do the job for which I am paid, not be the teacher, the social worker, the mental health aid. I want to fight crime and get justice where deserved, but the resources are low, and it’s becoming absurd.

But its more than a job its a calling in life, and we keep going through this trouble and strife.

So tomorrow I’ll wake up and put on my boots, I’ll leave my home and lock the door whilst heavily anticipating what the day has in store.

Because although a young officer, with pressure so heavy, I’m here for you to protect the many. But soon we will all be broken don’t you see and who will be there to protect you and me.

Not us, not them, not anyone if the protectors are broken then the protection is gone.

Anon

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